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How To Not Fail As A Father

Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.

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The Secret Math On Marriage

50% of marriages end in divorce. We’ve all heard this statistic so often that it’s easy to brush off. With repetition, it’s easy to tune it out and not consider the implications. And of those who do think about it, most don’t think it applies to them. I know that when I got married, it certainly didn’t feel like I was gambling on a coin flip… Let’s add some additional info into the mix and present the math a bit differently… Yes, 50% of marriages end in divorce. In the book You Can Be Right...

I just got sidetracked at the grocery store for 20 minutes… I went in for one thing, thinking I’d be in and out quickly. (If you care, I was buying my wife flowers. Want some extra marriage advice? Buy your wife flowers. Like, today. Even just cheap grocery store flowers. I didn’t realize how meaningful this was to my wife, but it makes her happy for days.) As I walked in, I was moving quick: a man on a mission. I was not expecting what I got… When I came to the flower section, there was an...

If you’re still struggling as a dad, it ISN'T because you haven’t read the right book, taken the right class, or watched the right documentary.It’s because you haven’t implemented what you've already learned. Have you ever looked at another dad who seemed to have it all together: happy wife, flourishing kids, successful life and wondered “What’s he got that’s so different than me?”The answer is one single, simple little thing… Guy Kawasaki put it as “Ideas are easy. Implementation is hard.”...

Can we borrow joy from our kids? The word borrow is a bit misleading… Kids naturally have so much joy in their lives that they wouldn’t notice if we did borrow some, but the reality is that it’s not a zero-sum game. When we gain joy from their joy, they lose nothing. It’s not a 1-for-1 trade like most of our adult world is. Just like how they seem to leave a mess in any room they walk through, they also leave energy, laughter & excitement… we just might not notice. Like dirty fingerprints on...

If you can’t fully commit to being a team with your wife, then your marriage is doomed to failure. My marriage proves this lesson. There were so many times when my wife or I created the struggle by viewing each other as opponents instead of teammates. We sought victory over each other instead of victory with each other. We fought against each other instead of for each other. We tried to win the argument instead of resolve the disagreement. And our marriage suffered for it. We were on the...

To all the dads with daughters… As Girl-Dads, we are in a war for our daughters' hearts & souls. That may sound a bit dramatic, but if we look a little closer, I think it's entirely accurate. The world is constantly trying to tell our daughters that they are not good enough. Our girls are being bombarded from all angles with the constant message of “You are not enough.” As Alvin Price says, “Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke...

Good friends do NOT accept you as you are... I know that society wants you to think "you are perfect just the way you are..." but that's just a lie told to keep us stuck. Sometimes, we just need a wake-up call. Firm but caring accountability from another man (or men) is a game-changer. This is not to shame you into the equally destructive lie: “You’ll never be good enough.”It’s to call out those who enable mediocrity by blindly accepting a man’s flaws out of “friendship.” Good friends care...

How Laziness Can Make You A Better Dad Laziness can get a bad rap... Yes, it's sometimes fair, but when laziness leads to building systems, it can actually help you become a better husband & dad. (When it results in sitting on your ass all day & doing nothing, it's no good to anyone...) So I guess it all depends on how you define laziness... The definition I like is: “averse or disinclined to work, activity or exertion.” Now, let's just be clear: a good dad needs to be willing and able to...

Every once in a while, I hear a question that both inspires me and frightens me at the same time. I feel a sense of deep truth in the question, but often hide from my answer because I know it’s not the answer I would want it to be. Here are 3 of these questions that all fathers should answer honestly. Just a warning though: if you’re not ready to own some of your failings as a father, this isn’t for you… Question #1 is a 2-part question. They say “A father is a son's first hero and a...

I know you love your kids, but do you ever find them INCREDIBLY annoying? Loud, whiny, bossy, demanding, dramatic... I think even the best parents have felt this way before. But what if we shifted our perspective and saw the good in what felt annoyed by? If you want to watch the YouTube video, click below, otherwise, keep on reading! For me, this thought process started a number of years ago. I was explaining to one of my daughters what it meant to think critically, to think for herself. As I...