Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.
What To Do When Your Kids Are Annoying
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I know you love your kids, but do you ever find them INCREDIBLY annoying? Loud, whiny, bossy, demanding, dramatic... I think even the best parents have felt this way before. But what if we shifted our perspective and saw the good in what felt annoyed by? If you want to watch the YouTube video, click below, otherwise, keep on reading! For me, this thought process started a number of years ago. I was explaining to one of my daughters what it meant to think critically, to think for herself. As I explained what it meant to question everything, she asked an obvious, yet profound question (as kids often do): ”Does that mean I should question you, daddy?” And there I was, backed into a corner, with no option other than to give my daughter outright permission to question everything I said… Obviously, if we want our children to question everything, it HAS to include us. So I told her, “Yes. Yes, that means you should question me too.” That was a really important connection for me to make. It allowed me to create a reframe the next time she questioned me. She wasn’t being argumentative, or defiant, or annoying. She was thinking critically. She was doing exactly what I had taught her to do. Over the following years, I’ve needed to develop and improve this skill to survive… As any parent can attest to, kids can be frustrating, angering, really annoying. Without this skill I would have been an angry mess! I would have continued to be the father who dumped on his kids just because he’s annoyed by normal kid behavior. These reframes are so important to me that I created a PDF to print out and hang in our kitchen where I see it everyday. Click here to download a FREE copy of the PDF Every one takes something I find annoying and turns it into a character trait that I would be proud to have in all of my kids: 1. They’re not demanding… they know what they want and are being assertive. 2. They’re not clinging to you… they’re being affectionate and connected. 3. They’re not whining... they’re communicating their needs. (And, if they need help learning to communicate their needs in a better way, that’s on YOU to teach them.) 4. They’re not too loud... they’re confident and expressive. 5. They’re not stubborn… they’re persistent & tenacious. 6. They’re not defiant… they hold strong beliefs and are bold and determined. 7. They’re not dramatic… they're expressive and passionate. 8. They’re not a tattle-tale… they seek justice and respect the rules. 9. They’re not bossy… they're a natural leader. 10. They don’t need to sit still… they’re energetic, joyful and enthusiastic. If you want a copy of this PDF, click here! So, next time you or your wife gets annoyed about a child being dramatic, just look at each other and agree that “Wow, the kids are being really expressive and passionate today!” and you’ll remind each other to reframe what you find annoying into character traits that would make you proud.
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How To Not Fail As A Father
by Locke Haman
Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.
Can we borrow joy from our kids? The word borrow is a bit misleading… Kids naturally have so much joy in their lives that they wouldn’t notice if we did borrow some, but the reality is that it’s not a zero-sum game. When we gain joy from their joy, they lose nothing. It’s not a 1-for-1 trade like most of our adult world is. Just like how they seem to leave a mess in any room they walk through, they also leave energy, laughter & excitement… we just might not notice. Like dirty fingerprints on...
If you can’t fully commit to being a team with your wife, then your marriage is doomed to failure. My marriage proves this lesson. There were so many times when my wife or I created the struggle by viewing each other as opponents instead of teammates. We sought victory over each other instead of victory with each other. We fought against each other instead of for each other. We tried to win the argument instead of resolve the disagreement. And our marriage suffered for it. We were on the...
To all the dads with daughters… As Girl-Dads, we are in a war for our daughters' hearts & souls. That may sound a bit dramatic, but if we look a little closer, I think it's entirely accurate. The world is constantly trying to tell our daughters that they are not good enough. Our girls are being bombarded from all angles with the constant message of “You are not enough.” As Alvin Price says, “Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke...