Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.
How Laziness Can Make You A Better DadLaziness can get a bad rap... Yes, it's sometimes fair, but when laziness leads to building systems, it can actually help you become a better husband & dad. (When it results in sitting on your ass all day & doing nothing, it's no good to anyone...) So I guess it all depends on how you define laziness... The definition I like is: “averse or disinclined to work, activity or exertion.” Now, let's just be clear: a good dad needs to be willing and able to work hard. But averse to unnecessary work? That's not bad at all. That leads us to look for a better way. Consistently looking for a better way is one of the requisites of success as a father. My go to for finding a better way is looking for leverage. Leverage is “using something to maximum advantage.” To me, that means systems. ✅️ Good lazy-dads use leverage & build systems to become more efficient & consistent. ❌️ Bad lazy-dads sit around doing nothing. Here are 2 times to implement systems that will utilize your "lazy" desire to decrease work: 1. “Idiot-proof” the things you consistently forget.Let's say your one of your wife's love languages is Words of Affirmation, but you're not as consistent as you'd like to be using your words to tell her how amazing she is... Set an alarm in your phone for a reminder at the same time every day. Send her a quick text telling her something you love about her or appreciate about her. This simple little alarm can change the dynamic of your relationship. 2. Build new habits into an existing routine.Use a “Habit Stack” to launch a new habit off an existing one. For example, I don't tell my son I'm proud of him enough. I know this, but I struggle remembering to say it more throughout the day. Solution: build it onto an existing habit. Now, the last words out of my mouth every night are “I love you. I'm proud of you.” I already told him I loved him each night, and just built the new habit on top. This doesn't replace the importance of saying it throughout the day too, but it starts the ball rolling... The list could go on, but the point is: Systems are necessary to save you pain and help you become the best dad you can be. If that's fueled by "laziness," then we can all learn from lazy dads by leveraging systems to serve us! Thanks for reading! If you found this useful, please share it with a friend to help spread the message! P.S. When you're ready, there are 3 ways that I can help you:
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by Locke Haman
Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.
Can we borrow joy from our kids? The word borrow is a bit misleading… Kids naturally have so much joy in their lives that they wouldn’t notice if we did borrow some, but the reality is that it’s not a zero-sum game. When we gain joy from their joy, they lose nothing. It’s not a 1-for-1 trade like most of our adult world is. Just like how they seem to leave a mess in any room they walk through, they also leave energy, laughter & excitement… we just might not notice. Like dirty fingerprints on...
If you can’t fully commit to being a team with your wife, then your marriage is doomed to failure. My marriage proves this lesson. There were so many times when my wife or I created the struggle by viewing each other as opponents instead of teammates. We sought victory over each other instead of victory with each other. We fought against each other instead of for each other. We tried to win the argument instead of resolve the disagreement. And our marriage suffered for it. We were on the...
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