Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.
The Way A Husband & Father Should Show Up
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My wife and I recently took the family to spend almost a week at the beach. While two of my daughters were playing on the giant seawall rocks, I had a realization about the way a husband should show up for his wife and a father for his daughters… If you want to watch the YouTube video, click below, otherwise, keep on reading! Watching the ocean pound away at the rocks reminded me of how a father should show up for his daughter, and a husband should show up for his wife. Let me explain a bit: If you're like me, sometimes you have trouble with her emotions... Trouble understanding… Trouble not feeling whipped around… Trouble being patient with her… Trouble letting her feel them without trying to fix or control them... But, here's the thing: the rocks don't move when the waves crash into them. Your love and acceptance should be the rock that is immovable under the assault of her emotional waves. To a human body, the waves hit with so much force, it would be impossible to not be knocked over. But the rock remains unmoved. The driftwood, on the other hand, is yanked this way and that, and then swept out to sea. Too often, I’ve felt like the driftwood; at the mercy of either my wife or my daughters emotions. Dragged around, undercut, blindsided. And really frustrated. The key is to not let her moods dictate yours. Don’t build your foundation on a piece of driftwood, build it on the rock. No, you don't always need to give in. You don't want to let her walk all over you. Don’t refuse to stand up for yourself. Sometimes boundaries need to be set. There is undoubtedly some nuance here. But don't withhold your love and acceptance either. You can't pick up those rocks and move them. The rocks don’t get to choose what waves to weather and which ones to dodge away from. They're steady, consistent, reliable. She needs to trust that your love and acceptance will always be there, like the rocks. This also doesn't mean you are inflexible or rigid. The immovable rock is your love and acceptance for her, not your opinions or expectations. You can be disappointed, frustrated, even angry with her, and yet, these rocks are still immovable. Always present. Always steady. And sometimes, her emotions will feel overwhelming to her, too. She won’t always understand them. In those times, let her lean on your rock, trusting in your love and acceptance, weathering her own storms on your reliable strength. I’ve found that when you can do that, it actually calms the storms quicker. By letting her feel her emotional waves and lean into your steadiness and strength, she feels safe to process faster. When you are ready, there are 3 ways that I can help you:
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How To Not Fail As A Father
Lessons, advice & perspectives from my mistakes as a father to challenge you & hold you accountable to becoming the Hero in your family's story, not the Villain.
50% of marriages end in divorce. We’ve all heard this statistic so often that it’s easy to brush off. With repetition, it’s easy to tune it out and not consider the implications. And of those who do think about it, most don’t think it applies to them. I know that when I got married, it certainly didn’t feel like I was gambling on a coin flip… Let’s add some additional info into the mix and present the math a bit differently… Yes, 50% of marriages end in divorce. In the book You Can Be Right...
I just got sidetracked at the grocery store for 20 minutes… I went in for one thing, thinking I’d be in and out quickly. (If you care, I was buying my wife flowers. Want some extra marriage advice? Buy your wife flowers. Like, today. Even just cheap grocery store flowers. I didn’t realize how meaningful this was to my wife, but it makes her happy for days.) As I walked in, I was moving quick: a man on a mission. I was not expecting what I got… When I came to the flower section, there was an...
If you’re still struggling as a dad, it ISN'T because you haven’t read the right book, taken the right class, or watched the right documentary.It’s because you haven’t implemented what you've already learned. Have you ever looked at another dad who seemed to have it all together: happy wife, flourishing kids, successful life and wondered “What’s he got that’s so different than me?”The answer is one single, simple little thing… Guy Kawasaki put it as “Ideas are easy. Implementation is hard.”...